Sweet nothings.

Some of the game players. That's vanilla in the sugar

Oh whisper sweet nothings. The soft fizz of the deep fryer, crisping up some yummy fluffy sweet bread to be dipped in sugar and consumed when it won't set your mouth ablaze. Then to try and stop yourself from eating them until you have to sit back and rub your ʻōpū (tummy) in satisfied delight. These sweet nothings are divine and think what you may, they should not, let me repeat that, NOT ever be eaten with any kind of filling or any other sugar then plain white unadulterated sugar. Never, ever, ever. What are these loverly sweet nothings? Why they are malassadas.

Mama's new toy.

They can be spelled with one s, but I'll go with the spelling, for this blog anyways, of my favorite malassada spot, Agnes' Portuguese Bake Shop in Kailua. They have a picture of their malassadas and yeah they have a puka (hole) but that's ok. They are so super yummy and better then the other guy. Yes I said it. I have never gone out of my way to get the other guy but I'll drive across the island for Agnes (just don't do it on Monday cause they're closed).

So why would someone need these malassadas? Well on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, when traditionally you're trying to get rid of your lard and sugar, these were made, by the Portuguese to do just that. The day is known as Shrove Tuesday, or Fat Tuesday, but also known as Carnival or Mardi Gras. The Portuguese who came to Hawai'i to work the sugar plantations brought this with them and it stuck and became the thing to have on Shrove Tuesday.

The dough

Until now, I've never been able to have them on the mainland because I've never been able to find them. Thanks to my sister's desire for a doughnut, and my making them on the stove, I knew I could do this. So it was off to find a recipe, which a friend graciously gifted me her mama's recipe (and a Portuguese Sweet Bread recipe, which people mistakenly label as Hawaiian sweet bread. It's not Hawaiian. Hawaiians never had wheat.). It was a fairly simple recipe, like some others I'd seen online, but when going for ethnic fair, I tend to like first hand knowledge from a person from that actual ethnic group.

New toy, hard at work.

I knew what the dough looked like because at every carnival in Hawai'i there are malassadas for sale. It's our version of an elephant ear or funnel cake. I had seen it made at the Kailua High School carnival and at the Waimanalo carnival and usually with Agnes' dough. It's like a sticky batter that's thicker then pancakes but more wet then bread dough. Now that big question should be, did I follow the recipe exactly? :-) Bwahahahaha. Of course not sillies. LOL mostly because I didn't have one ingredient.


Malassadas
Mix 1 Tbsp yeast in 3/4 c warm water (I used 1/4 c. water and put in some sugar and let it bloom)
1 can evaporated milk
6 beaten eggs
1/2 c sugar
1/4 melted butter
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vanilla (I didn't want to use a bean on this so left it out and used vanilla sugar)
1 tsp lemon extract (I didn't have this so left it out)
5-6 c flour, less is better then more.

The SUGAR

Mix all your ingredients but the flour together. If your yeast bloomed, mix that in as well. Then mix in the flour. Stop at 5 cups and see if that's enough. Then add slowly because you do want it to be wet. Beat till a smooth soft dough. Let rise for 1 hour. Stir down and let rise again. (Yeah here's where I got impatient and I only let it rise once.) Scoop the dough out with a tablespoon into 375 degree oil. Cook till brown on one side, flip and brown the other side. Drain (Yeah I didn't do that either. Just picked it up with chopsticks, shook it off a bit and put it in the sugar.) You can either put the sugar in a paper bag and shake the malassadas up like that, or I just put the sugar in a pie plate and my helper (who ever responded when I yelled) rolled them in the sugar. They have to be rolled right away or the sugar won't stick. You'll get 5-7 dozen, depending on how big you make your malassadas and you can halve the recipe. I have no idea how many malassadas I made because how can you count them when as they get rolled in sugar they disappear.

Testing for doneness

 They turned out so great. I also figured out, they do taste a bit better when not totally drenched in sugar, so the last few were dusted a bit less. We share some with our neighbors across the way. I'm going to freeze what's left as I read they freeze well. You just are supposed to wrap them in foil then pop them in the toaster oven in the foil and they're supposed to be yummy. So we'll see how that works.

Suffice it to say, I'm very full and have had enough sugar and dough for a while. So next time you're craving something that's far across the sea, or you would like to follow tradition but can't because you're not at home, take the plunge and try it on your own. You may be pleasantly surprised.

The mighty tasty end result!